One Crazy week

The following is the log of the ill fated week leading up to Christmas for one clerggy family.

Sunday Dec. 16th: Nor-Easter Hits the region. Emergency driving only insituted by police. This means that if you are on the road and the police see you they will ticket you. The only places open this Sunday are churches. Wouldn't you know it, our church has a grand total of about 40 people at both our services. there was a total of 18 inches of snow and No one got a ticket. We reviewed our emergency supplies for blizzard crisis and determined that we probably should h ave gotten at least batteries. Milk may not last the week.

Monday Dec. 17th: Nor Easter Continues all day. Amee and I are stuck at home and can not do our planned Christmas shopping. Rob begins work of shoveling snow only to have more fall all day. We are running out of milk. Amee works on christmas cookies

Tuesday Dec. 18th: The storm has subsided. Snow on the back porch deck up to chest level. Amee tries to go work only to find her car shakes whenever it goes above 30 mph. Rob visits shut ins to give christmas cheer. He is accosted by a gang of elderly thugs who try to maim him with kisses. Milk gone. Rob won't stop eating Amee's Christmas cookies that are meant as gifts for others.

Wednesday Dec. 19th: Rob takes Amee's car to garage for wheel balancing. Wheel balancing: $35, After completing the work Mechanic telling us the problem was with ice buildup around the tire rim and it could have been fixed with a hose; Priceless.
Snow begins to fall again. Cute weather girl predicts 6"s. Natives are restless without milk for brerakfast cereal. Amee beats Rob with rolling pin in order to keep him away from Christmas cookies.

Thursday Dece. 20th: Bible Study morning. Rob forgets to bring secret Santa gift and is otricized by fellow Christians. Rob Travels out into the country to visit a family who can not make it out of their home. Snow is falling and he is worried about getting stuck in the snow at a home with no roads. Good thing he has a two wheel drive toyota Echo that can handle light rainfalls. No thursday evening Bible study. We are going to a local nursing home and singing Christams Carols. The favorite carol for the evening was Grandma got run over by a reigndeer. It was obvious each resident was eying other residents as to whom they would throw under the sleigh. Amee hides christams cookies by putting them on top shelf where Rob is too short to see them.

Friday Dec. 21: Rob Visits nursing home in the morning and finishes bulletins for Christmas eve services. Amee close to dying of boredom at work due to lack of anything to really work on. She still manages to find work. Rob sits all afternoon at local bank hawking raffle calanders for his local rotary club. Due to stress of Christmas preparations, Rob briefly considers robbing bank, but does not want to get out of his seat due to laziness. Crisis at work causes rob to leave selling soul early and attend to something that really doesn't matter, but considered vital to national security by parishoners. Rob goes to Karate and fights imaginary parishoners. Warning: baking powder mixed with water may looklike milk, but is not really fit for human consumption. Rob Finds Christmas cookies. Takes one that is baited to a mouse trap and hurts left indexfinger badly.

Saturday Dec. 22: I have two words for you: Pageant rehearsal. Of the twenty Children slated to be in the play,three show up. Among those MIA are our two leads. Amee is now in Crisis mode and not sure whether or not she will get into her car and never come back. Amee and rob spend all morning and early afternoon helping get preparations completed so that everything is ready for the pageant even if no children show up. Rob ventures out looking for milk; finds cow and makes the best of it. Rob forced to stop his cookie hunting expedition due to death threats by amee.

Sunday Dec. 23: Pageant day is here. 9:00am, the time children are to arrive, only the three from the rehearsal are present. 9:15am two more children arrive. 9:35am Lead finally arrives. 15 minutes to start of service, 6 children present. 9:55am 10 children arrive at once. Service starts in 5 minutes. 10:05, service started, 3 more kids arrive. Knowing that the Pageant starts at 10:30, director decideds to do run through at 10:20. Beyond all understanding or reasoning, pageant actually begins when it is supposed to with cast of 25 and running relatively somethly. Highlights include an angel screaming at the top of her lungs, "Jesus is Born, Jesus is Born" Very Cute and one young shepherd walking around the church ignoring his part and the play altogether and raises his index finger to the sky and showing everyone that heis #1 and then giving all a thumbs up. Amee spends rest of afternoon swearing she willnever help with a Christmas pageant ever again. Rob cries after having to give away Christamas cookies. 3:00 pm Rob does funeral for a faithful member of church then spends the rest of the afternoon pampering the love of his life, Amee of course, and making dinner. After being attacked by amee, Rob breaks down and runs to the store and buys milk. All evening into the next morning it rains getting rid of about half our snow. Amee is very sad.

Monday, Dec. 24: Rob spends morning visiting shut ins and making sure final preparations are complete for Christmas eve services. At 1:oopm Rob finally finds time to do his Christmas shopping. Since we live in the middle of nowhere, the only place to shop is Walmart. Amee receives carmats and paper towels for Christmas. Miraculously extra christams cookies appear as a special gift from Amee to Rob. AWWWWWWWWWWWW. 5:00 pm our first service goes well with 120 attendees. Fr. Rob does children's sermon in which he polluttes water with strawberry syrup, chocolate syrup and ketchup and makes it pure again by pouring lots of fresh clean water into the glass then drinks the clear water. Turns out water is not so pure and Rob has quesy stomach for several hours. Amee prepares elegant dinner of smoked samon marinated in teriaki sauce. Midnight mass goes without a hitch and Rob and Amee are home at 1:30 am Christmas morning. No milk and christmas cookies needed as both fall over from exhaustion.

Tuesday, Dec. 25th: Christmas, Rob gets the book of Cooland Amee new fucia slipers. All is well. Our love this Christmas to all.